21. Oktober 2015


my entire body is aching, I feel strange so numb, like I am on a constant high. I have to leave, I need to leave Berlin. This city, the emptiness. I need to leave. My pay is alright this month and G. already knows I can't work every day from the 31st. That is when my Classes start. She will understand if I tell her that I need to leave the city. 

 I have a limited budget and Europe is the only destination I can take right now. a friend recently told me that there is this train ticket you can buy with which you can get almost anywhere to here in Europe if the country supports it. I already have made up my mind, i'm leaving. before purchasing the Inter-rail Ticket, I consult with my father over Skype. He can understand and laughs at me a little because its actually stupid traveling alone with a broken heart.. Isn't it ? 
He offers me to come down and visit them. its not a bad idea, i'd get to see my family again, friends and I get to enjoy the African sun. Before I know it I am in the train on my way to catch my flight in Munich. 

I only have 2 weeks to catch up with everybody, but I decide to stay in Zambia with my parents for most of the time. 
I visit the Falls again, they are so dry, one can see that it has not rained for awhile.

Its so nice to be here again, I feel okay again. My mom made me nshima(mais meal) and bream(Zambian fish) as a welcome. Tastes just like I remember. I'm such a blessed child to have these two great humans look after me so well. It is so good to have my family around telling me that everything will be okay. My courage is built by remembering that I'll start my Photo-studies in only two weeks my life will change immensely. That thought and the breathtaking night sky here keeps me sane.

before my flight back to Berlin, I catch a bus to Namibia. My nights are spent sleeping at our old house.  There is something quite sad that I realized during my stay: my friends will all be gone after this year. there wont be anything left to do in Namibia for me. this is my last visit.
Is this true ? Am I forever saying goodbye to the country that I learned so much from ? is this forever goodbye ?  

Its the 31st of August. Life is wonderful, today my first classes start. My love whom I shed so many tears for is escorting me and wishes me luck on my first day.