As I took a breather to the park earlier I noticed that it is funny how life works. You get something good but therefore you have to lose something better. Last night I lay in bed talking to whoever wrote my story. Asking and begging them to please please write this one moment differently 'please please please turn this around' i pleaded. I sincerely believed it would work, but when I realised that my tears were still running , my throat still in pain from the other night, and my body weaker than a man crushed by a 10.000 kilo building I knew instantly that all the feelings that were rushed into my system the past 21months were not meant to be. And if they were meant to be, the human being who bestowed me with those feelings would come to me and tell me everything will be alright. It will take time, but everything will be alright.
I am starting to believe everything happens for a reason. Every little thing in life that happens to us, is for a reason. That belief is the only thing keeping me sane right now.
I am starting to convince myself that this is the way it should be. I moved to Berlin for my sake, and not for our sake, everything I am feeling now I should leave behind, like I left my footprint on the dunes last Winter. The past year and months will be a memory, and shall not intervene with the time I have before me. That convincement is the only thing keeping me strong right now
I will be O.K and exploring the City will lead me from O.K to Extremely Contented.
Sunday January 2012 , Sunday September 2014